pt.1: on being and becoming

here's the deal...i have this blog...


no kidding.


every so often i convene my head and my hands in this location, and get my thoughts on screen...


i recently discovered that my blog has a stats feature that allows me to see where in the world i'm being read, number of page views, traffic sources, audience, etc. knowing this has made me want to be read more. exposure has become an addiction. i engage in shameless self promotion more than i care to admit, but not as much as i'd like to :-) i update my social networking sites to reflect my recent writings, in the hopes that one more person will read me. i've even looked for other ways to get my blog address out there so that i can get more readers because a writer--no matter the genre or forum or amount--is no writer without a reader...and you wouldn't be a reader without a writer :-)


i have become acutely aware that readership depends on how i promote myself. certainly, if you don't like my style or my topics, then i won't gain you as a regular reader. this is never far from my mind as i look for ways to market my blog and as i brand myself as a blogger. but bottom line, my existence as a writer falls short if i haven't advertised myself as a writer or if i stop writing. i have to put myself out there. i can't exist as a writer if i don't have a reader, and i won't have readers if what i write isn't believable, and if i want to call myself a writer i have to keep writing...i'm becoming and being a writer, but only because i continue to write.


let's get to my point...


the canadian marketing association defines marketing as a set of business practices designed to plan for and present an organization’s products or services in ways that build effective customer relationships.


a related term, branding, has been described in this way by disney ceo michael eisner: "a brand is a living entity - and it is enriched or undermined cumulatively over time, the product of a thousand small gestures." 


perhaps the most transferable concept and example to use here is the résumé, where your hiring hangs on how you sell yourself to your potential employer. in the process of marketing yourself for a particular position or promotion, ideally you present yourself in all the ways that will convince the hiring personnel that you are the best one for the job. the skills, experience, and education that you put on display on that piece of paper are the products and services that have been poured into your life that you have honed...all the gestures you've been shown by teachers, parents, leaders, mentors, friends, co-workers, etc. this pouring into your life is exactly what can work to help you build effective relationships. 


you don't become you on your own. who you are becoming hinges on your associations, so associate wisely if you want to be enriched, not undermined. you--the brand you are becoming--is hopefully always evolving, growing, in that perpetual state of becoming. it's a process. you are a process. remember that this life is a journey, and your arrival doesn't actually occur until the journey's over. you're not made. you're being made. simone de beauvoir once made the statement that one is not born a woman, but becomes one. in like manner, you're not born a reader or a writer or an employee or an employer or a parent or a spouse...you become one. and it's a lifelong process.


the way i see it, when you're applying for that job and tailoring your résumé to reflect the job application, you are meticulous in your execution if you want to get noticed. if you want to get overlooked, be sloppy, be arrogant, be pretentious, be condescending, be patronizing. act like you've already arrived. and forget your audience.


but if you want to be noticed, be real. put it out there...your strengths, your weaknesses, your fears, your abilities. remember you're becoming. you're not there yet. and remember your audience.


howard schultz of starbucks says, "customers must recognize that you stand for something." in other words, selling yourself does not include selling out. if you put reliable and organized in your résumé, make sure you are. if you say you're honest, and you lie, you've stopped being honest. if i say i'm a writer but don't write, i'm no longer being a writer. if you stop being and becoming, your credibility of what you say you are goes out the window and you won't have 'customers.' put yourself out there; people will appreciate that you did, and you may even generate a following...you can't expect your ratings and stats to rise until you do; and you won't keep them if you're not taking a consistent stand.


my tautological point: i've already said it. sell yourself without selling out. remember you didn't become you on your own. and you're not there yet. whatever it is, keep being and becoming that. you're a process that can't stop.


now go.

do hard things

awhile ago i was aware that the youth at my church were doing a series called "do hard things." i wasn't in for any of it, but the title of it keeps running through my head...


my church is a few days into a 21 day fast. it's our jubilee year. we're looking back in appreciation for all God has done and looking ahead to the greater things He's going to do in our church, community, city, country. we're expecting God to do great things this year, and we're basing this expectation on the james 5:16 principle that earnest prayer has great power and produces wonderful results. oh, and also on the 2 chronicles 7:14 principle that God responds when we pray, seek Him, and turn from sin :-)


a specific kind of fast was suggested as we enter into this jubilee year--the daniel fast--taken from daniel 10:2-3 where daniel basically says, "i ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth." earlier, daniel describes the fast as consisting of vegetables and water (1:12).


i've looked at a few websites, and the gist of this fast is fruit, vegetables, water. no meat, no dairy, no sweeteners, no bread. you can have whatever comes from a seed, as far as i can tell. and nuts, according to some sites.


it seems like there are a several versions of this fast, and anyone doing it has probably modified it. i'm sure there are as many variations as there are people doing it. some people will be very literal and by-the-book, doing just vegetables and water. others will have tweaked it some to include things like juices and tofu, for instance. and can i just add here that no one's fast is better than someone else's. mine isn't better than yours or a greater 'religious' experience because of what i've given up, and vice versa :-) oh, and while i'm on the 'better than' rant, can i just add that this kind of corporate fast is a little different than the personal fast that is done less openly. don't misinterpret this kind of fast as being pharisaical just because it's being done openly; it's not. it's a call to fast in whatever way you can...


but the point is that it's supposed to be difficult, no matter what you're fasting. my pastors explained that biblical fasting is predominantly about giving up food, but in this day and age when so much time is spent on media, entertainment, etc., it's also reasonable to give up anything along those lines that you'd miss. and it's about giving up those very things that you would particularly and especially miss! reality tv, soap operas, excessive shopping, and liver would have been very easy for me to give up, and would have been no sacrifice...so, because i desperately want to get God's attention and show Him i mean business, i decided i needed to do something harder. harder for me.


my pastors said things like this on sunday: fasting is about denying your appetite (and not just your appetite for food); fasting should be uncomfortable; you ought to miss what you're giving up or it's not worth giving up; fasting is about giving up what's near and dear to you. i didn't feel like the daniel fast was the right sacrifice for me. i felt like it would be too easy for me. fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and water are major in my diet. this would have been a cakewalk and i didn't want to short change myself by taking a way that would be easy for me.


i immediately knew what i had to give up...knew what the things were that would fit all the descriptors given for fasting that would cause me to feel the effects of what i'd given up. which brings me to my point. although this fast is a very corporeal event being engaged in by my church body, fasting is very personal. only i can do it. only i can give up what's nearest and dearest to me. sounds silly and obvious, i know, but it's true. the hard thing i knew to do was something only i could do.


the things i've given up would be very easy for some. and the same is true for me. i could have given up video games and facebook and tv easily because they're not a major part of my daily routine. i can take 'em or leave 'em. i could have embraced the daniel fast and it wouldn't have been much different than what i was already doing, with the exception of the absence of meat. i knew what it had to be for me; i knew what it was that would leave me feeling the effects of my fast. and the absence of these things are constant reminders that i'm supposed to be talking to God about this being the best year ever. the lack i feel is meant to be replaced by spiritual things, and not just about replacing hours of facebook with hours of tv, for instance.


for anyone reading this, my simple thought is this: you know that hard thing you've been feeling you should do? do it. maybe it's not a 21 day fast where you give up something you'll miss incredibly...but it might be. maybe it's talking to someone about the peace and joy you've found. maybe it's spending time with a shut-in. maybe it's making right a wrong. maybe it's forgiving and letting go. maybe it's spending less time here and more time there. maybe it's giving your time and talent in an area you've noticed needs help. maybe it's limiting your contact with negative influences. maybe it's taking a stand when no one else does. 


you know what that hard thing is for you. i dare you to do it. and just wait and see how God responds..."then will i hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land" (2 chron. 7:14).

what if...

warning: long post

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if you google "what if?" you'll get a variety of results...stop reading and try it here if you dare or care...

 

well, whether you did or didn't, simply put, this sometimes sentence starter is supposed to solicit speculation, induce imagination, demarcate the what isn't from the what is...you get the idea...

"what ifs" amount to nothing if there's no activity that follows it. your "what if" might as well be followed by an ellipsis, because if you never plan to do anything about it, well, who really cares what your "what if" is about. in fact, not to sound harsh, but your "what if" might as well be followed by a period.

what if...

what if.

who really cares about the "what if" that doesn't have legs, or hands, or a mouth, or vision.

there's a proverb that basically says where there is no vision, there's no life. if your "what if" isn't followed by activity, it's as good as dead. if you have a genuine "what if" dream and vision, you will divine the wherewithal to make it happen...even if you can't see it yet. note to self: it's better to die trying than to have never tried, and if it was worth dreaming, it's probably worth realizing.

what ensues are my own several "what ifs," which over time, i hope to be able to look back and see that i did something about my personal percolations and the things about me or around me that bother me...i know that for me they are a reticulation of reflections that need realized...you probably have some of your own...

feel free to comment, or add yours...

 

what if i didn't just happily--or grudgingly, depending on the day--do what's expected, but went above and beyond? sometimes, i'll admit, it becomes about just getting the job done, sometimes with a whistle, sometimes with a grumble. but my world would be a better place if i did more than the minimum. you know that's true for you, too.

what if i pushed the envelope in an area that lacks luster or the limelight, and just stepped up? honestly, we all like recognition, but sometimes i think i need to remind myself that i do my best work behind the scenes, when there's no audience, and when no one knows.


what if i was attentive and active not because i have to be accountable to someone? in other words, if i never had to answer to anyone, what kind of person would i be. how would i live my life?


what if my willingness matched my ability? in my opinion, we're skilled and talented to the enth power...but all too often, willingness falls short. while skill and talent and ability are at an all time high, willingness is at an all time low...we have the tools to get the job done effectively and efficiently, but if it's not in our job description or in our purview, we purposefully overlook it. ok, maybe mistakenly overlook sometimes, but that's no excuse. that piece of paper on the floor that you just stepped over isn't gonna pick itself up. that new person probably isn't gonna approach you for a friendly welcome. it doesn't matter if you're not the janitor, or the welcome committee, or the manager, or the operator, or the ceo. quit with the excuses. it's not beneath you. you are good enough. someone else can't do it better.


what if i remembered that in my every day life i'm on display for the world to see? think about it: "let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven" (matt. 5:16).


what if i could see who is watching me? my life is an open book. i'm being read even when i don't know it. you might never know who's watching you, and maybe you think no one is, but you're wrong.  


what if today was my last day? first of all, if you're living like there's no tomorrow, remember that one day there won't be & then it's eternity. so, live today like eternity begins tomorrow...and if that means making things right, make 'em right today. you might not have tomorrow to make things right. secondly, let's face it...there aren't enough minutes in the day to get it all done, so make the moments count...that's what it's really all about anyway. 


what if i got what i deserve rather than what i demand? think about it. the sense of entitlement that we all fall prey to sometimes would also suggest that sometimes what i feel i'm owed is actually what i owe, and a whole lot more.


what if i remembered it's not about me? sometimes i think we just need to put self aside and look beyond. in fact, you're not even a whole person without others. forgive my academic foray here, but there's a philosopical concept called differential recognition, which essentially means that things are known by what they're not...they're called binary oppositions, where things are differentially known...eg. light/dark, right/wrong, up/down, self/other. in university i was taken by a german philosophical writer. now, there was a great deal about him that i didn't care for, particularly his thought that truth is never fixed, but i did pore over a portion of his writing in his text titled the phenomenology of spirit. the passage itself is known as "the master/slave dialectic." in it, hegel declares that authenticity, wholeness, and unification are achieved only when the self steps outside of self to approach the other who is another self, whereby “they recognize themselves as mutually recognizing one another” (631). put simply, the slave is the very thing that allows the master to exist. and you wouldn't be who you are if it wasn't for others. indeed, the self can only become the self through an encounter with the other. the self needs the other to be and become...so, it's not about me. in fact, i wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for you.

and for me, the "what if" of all "what ifs" these days...

what if we started living "just because" lives instead of "just in case" ones? we need a paradigm shift..."i get to" instead of "i have to." just think about how much could get done if this was our daily approach to life and living. send the flowers just because and not because you're trying to make up for something. give a little extra just because you've been blessed with more up to this point than some will ever have in their lives, not because you feel obligated. do good unto others, turn the other cheek, lend a helping hand even if you never stand to get anything in return.

my 2011 isn't gonna be about stalemated and deadpanned "what ifs." i challenge you to make your "what ifs" happen. be an agent of change. like martin luther king jr. like rosa parks. like tommy douglas. like thomas edison. like sir john a. macdonald. like harriet tubman. like sandford fleming. like frederick banting. like amelia earhart. be the change you want to see. if you dare or care.