"realize every victory outright!!!"

6 months ago today, on october 17th, my journey took an unexpected turn...one i never saw coming...one that would change my life forever. i ended up in an emergency room with critically low--resuscitation level--blood counts. only days later i would receive a diagnosis of cancer in the form of acute myeloid leukemia. in the space of 10 days to 2 weeks i had 11 of the 13 symptoms of leukemia but didn't know it was leukemia.

if you've read any of my sporadic entries up to today, you will know that i have had 4 rounds of strong chemo pumped into me, at least 8 extended hospital admissions related to the chemo infusions or infections that my body couldn't fight on its own, several "why me?" days, bags and bags and bags of blood and platelet transfusions, dozens of tests and scans and ultrasounds and swabs...and, lots of victories.

there's a band that has been around for about 6 yrs who have really emerged on the music scene after their youtube video went viral last year and they appeared on a popular talk show. they do a lot of really organic, innovative stuff, popular for their unique covers and loved for their original music. their new album is titled revo, which stands for realize every victory outright.

and it's how i'm living each day...every victory gets recorded in some way and shared...a tweet, a facebook status update, a blog entry, a conversation with someone when they ask how i am...i don't take the victories lightly, however small or seemingly unremarkable; they all add up and are making me the person i need to be for the next stage of my journey.

at about this time 6 months ago, i was making my way to a walk in clinic where i would be sent for blood work and later end up in emerg. the journey has been a narrow road at times, with little flexibility when it comes to having a normal life because so much of my time is dictated by appointments, admissions, etc. at this stage of the journey i am waiting for the results from my last bone marrow test which took place last wednesday. i get the results next wednesday. i will be in one of 3 categories: in remission, in need of more chemo, or in need of a bone marrow transplant.

i believe i am being healed one cell at a time. and i am okay with that. early on i said i didn't care if i was healed from it, in it, or through it, and i still stand by that. if my miracle comes from God by way of medicine and treatment and the very best in healthcare, then that's fine. bring it on!

my point is that i still believe God has got this. all the way. down to the very last cell that needs replaced. and when i get scared about what tomorrow may bring, i am reminded about how far i have come and everything i have been protected from.

and i realize my victories through the power of prayer and positive thoughts and the miracle of medicine. my times really are in God's Hand. 6 months later, when i could have died that day, i am still here...and i have new pumas on to prove i'm in this race to win it :-)