ggt!!!--part 1

"God knows the way i take" (job 23:10).

you know that thing you know you should do but you never do? yeah...that thing...i'll preface this by saying that you should probably do it...maybe even today...

let me catch you up...

my journey begins october 17th...actually, it begins about a week before, and likely even some time before that. my alarm went off at the usual time for work, but when my feet hit the floor i felt 'off.' i made an attempt to get ready for work that didn't last long. by 7:30 i had called in to say i thought i had a bronchial issue. for the entire week prior i had been experiencing a tightness in my chest, dry cough, and shortness of breath. going up sets of stairs was an effort, leaving me winded. going outside in the cool air made me cough uncontrollably. and constantly i had a tightness that made me feel i had to take deep breaths to be able to breathe. i was positive i needed a puffer. and i knew i needed to see a doctor for that to happen--that thing i never do...

that morning, i went to the walk-in clinic and explained everything i was feeling to a wonderful walk-in clinic doctor (who i am trying to secure as my family doctor because she played an essential part in saving my life). i gave her all my symptoms and told her my self diagnosis. she checked me all over and said, "i don't believe it's your lungs, dear. i believe it's your hemoglobin." she did give me a script for a puffer, but also sent me to a nearby lab for blood work and an ecg and told me to come see her on friday or saturday because she would have the results by then.

i have a weak constitution; it doesn't take much to make me pass out and the thought of blood work gave me that numbing sensation, but i went and had it done. on my way back to the house, i decided to stop at shopper's drug mart and have the puffer script filled. while i was waiting for it, i got lightheaded and recognized all my signs of passing out--tunnel vision, dulled hearing, complete weakness...i made my way to a self service blood pressure kiosk and sat down...and blacked out. i thought it was just from being weak from the blood work so i was just going to take myself home. however, i had somehow managed to lose my keys in the process. the pharmacist who found me and assisted me said i shouldn't drive, but i had all intentions of doing just that once i got away from him, so God must have had a hand in making sure i couldn't find my keys :-) fortunately, a neighbor was able to come and get me. she wanted to take me to emerg but i refused, insisting that i had only passed out and needed to sleep. against her better judgment she took me home.

i slept all afternoon. when my roommate (who i also credit for saving my life) got home from work, she said we should go to emerg. again i refused and told her i just needed sleep and gatorade. she said she would go to shopper's and get me some. while she was out, she went to the walk-in clinic and asked to speak to the doctor. certainly the only reason this was allowed was because she knows the receptionist there. with the exception made, the doctor came out and when hollie described me to the doctor, she knew exactly who hollie was talking about and said i needed to go to emerg once she found out about my passing out episode. she also told hollie that i was very ill...days later hollie would tell me what the doctor suspected was wrong with me...remember that the blood work wasn't supposed to come back until friday...

the house is about 5 mins from the clinic and shopper's. in the time it took hollie to drive from there to the house, i had a missed called from dr. milanthi (days later i would realize i had a voicemail from her which i have saved and listened to several times because of the role dr. milanthi played in my journey to wellness). not reaching me, the doctor's next step was to get hollie's number from the receptionist since i hadn't listed anyone as a contact on my file. when hollie walked in to my bedroom she was on the phone with the doctor and was saying we had to go to emerg immediately. dr. milanthi asked to speak to me and when i took the phone she said, "teri, i just received your blood work results after hollie left. your blood is critically low. you must go to the hospital now. do not delay."

with some effort, hollie got me to the car--i'm still struggling to breathe, even going down sets of stairs. i'm slow moving and lightheaded and i think i recognize the signs suffocating to death. and i know something is wrong. 2 minutes later we arrive at the hospital. i remember opening the car door, putting my feet on the ground, standing...and that's it. the next time i come around, i am in a resuscitation room in a johnny shirt with oxygen on, with more nurses and aides around me than i can count. a nurse is on either side of me asking each other if the other one has found a line yet, 2 are at my feet saying i have a large hematoma on my shin forming, another is monitoring numbers on a machine, and someone is waiting to take blood samples...

my journey had quickly entered the next phase...

i'll stop at this point in my telling because i've decided to break my journey up into sections, but before i do, i want to say that nothing happens by chance. nothing. i don't believe in coincidence, wheels of fortune, or luck. sure, things happen at the same time, but nothing happens by chance. i believe things happen for a reason and on this journey called life we have starts and stops and detours...and perhaps a bit of backtracking when we don't follow the directions. but i don't believe roads are random...

i'm naturally a directionally challenged person. east, west, north, and south don't mean much to me, but i do know that when i get in a vehicle i'm always going in a direction. i might not know where i am going, but i trust that i will get to my destination...starts, stops, detours, backtracking included--they're all part of the destination and i will get to where i am going. job, a guy in the bible, said he went east, west, north, and south on his journey, and even though he didn't know where he was going, he knew God did.

i believe my steps are divinely ordered...this includes my starts and my stops. ggt!!! to explain, for those of you who don't know, i had my good friend terri text me the statement "God's got this" early on in my journey. i started using it in my daily facebook updates and a cousin shortened it to "ggt" one day. it has stuck and been repeated ever since, and has become my motto because i really do believe that He has got this thing all the way!