"hit me with your best shot! fire away!" ggt!!!--part 8

there is a statement that is often said in relation to a situation...a girl who has had enough in a relationship, a disgruntled employee who has been slighted, an athlete who comes in second, a recovering addict trying to get clean, a singer who auditions but doesn't make the cut, a patient fighting a terrible disease...the statement is this: "you're not going to get the best of me." or, "i'm not going to let it get the best of me." used in this way, the statement is usually about moving on, letting go, accepting, turning the page, etc.

i was thinking about this statement in relation to my current situation. true, i can quickly and easily say to cancer, "you're not going to get the best of me," or to someone that i'm not going to let cancer get the best of me, but you know what? that's not really where i am. in fact, when i think about that statement, it better suits my journey and my headspace to say that cancer is going to get the best of me.

what do i mean?

well, basically, acute myeloid leukemia is going to get the best of me :-)

and i say that with as much defiance and determination as you can imagine.

i am finding that my fight against cancer is as much a psychological battle as it is a physical one. there's a strength that comes from being positive. in many ways, half the battle is in the mind. by the time i received my diagnosis, only days after being admitted, i actually breathed a sigh of relief because after days of tests and 'the unknown,' the 'it' finally had a name. and you can often treat something with a name. the night i got my diagnosis i decided with every fibre of my being that i was going to give leukemia a run for its money.

cancer is getting the best of me.

that doesn't mean i have given up. or that i have resigned myself to an unfightable fate. or that i just don't have it in me.

au contraire. it means i have my boxing gloves on and have come out swinging. i'm not cowering in the corner of the ring. cancer is down for the count.

cancer is getting the best of me. my best effort. my best fight. my best attempt. my best swing. my best start off the line.

i believe i am doing so well on my journey and in this fight because i made up my mind that the cancer cells that once threatened to take over my body are now being schooled by me. i am showing them who's boss. am i doing it on my own? no. i believe emphatically that this journey is going so well because i have soooo much spiritual and medical support systems at my disposal, and because i served notice on cancer, letting it know that it wasn't going to win. i let it know every day that i am in the constant motion of putting my best foot forward. every day i determine to deliver a fatal blow to leukemia...a tko, if you will :-) in other words, leukemia is facing a technical knockout from me and my support systems; cancer cannot safely continue in this match. the odds are stacked against it, and are ever in my favour.

pat benatar sang it this way: "well, you're a real tough cookie with the long history of breaking little hearts like the one in me. that's ok. let's see how you do it. put up your dukes. let's get down to it! hit me with your best shot! why don't you hit me with your best shot! hit me with your best shot! fire away! you come on with a come on. you don't fight fair. but that's ok. see if i care! knock me down. it's all in vain. i'll get right back on my feet again."

and that's my daily challenge to cancer. and it should be your challenge to whatever you're facing. go ahead, cancer. gimme all you got. take your best shot, problem. it may be well be your last.

:-)