in loving memory of jacqueline quinn--july 6th, 1966-august 12th, 2013

"if God sends you down a stony path, He will give you strong shoes."

in our own ways, we are all on a stony path of some sort today. i would like to extend my deepest sympathies to jackie's family and friends. laurence, david, betty, robert, antonella and your children, may the God of strength and peace sustain you. surround yourself with memories of jackie and feel her strength even in the face of deep loss. remember her sparkling eyes, her smile, her laughter, her sense of humor, her spirit.

i met jackie and some of her wonderful family and friends over the course of the last 8 months at the juravinski hospital and cancer centre. that's where our paths crossed. horrible circumstances brought us together, and while the pain of loss is great, i wouldn't have changed my own personal circumstances if that meant not meeting jackie on this journey. would i have changed the outcome? certainly, but i believe our meeting was one of those "meant to be" events on the road of life. our paths were meant to cross. after monday night, i realized that more than ever, as i believe she passed on her courage and spirit to me.

i know jackie in relation to the disease we shared. it was how we identified, but not how we defined ourselves. when few could understand the fears and frustrations of a horrible diagnosis, and even though our similar paths took us on different courses at times, we could relate and draw strength from each other. let me clarify...i drew strength from jackie. at times when i was scared or struggling, jackie was quick to offer support and encouraging words to keep fighting, even when her own path was especially rocky. i can remember how encouraging our couple of breakfast dates were. breakfast at the sunset grill never tasted so good as it did with a friend who could relate. we didn't pretend that the hurdles weren't great or scary, and it was an incredible source of strength for me to talk candidly to one who understood by experience. at the same time, we were both determined to not let our diagnosis get the best of us. while it stood to take a lot, it could not--and did not--take the best of jackie, because cancer is so limited. today we recognize that cancer wasn't beat in the way we prayed, but the irony is that jackie did in fact beat cancer. today she is free, and a diagnosis that took her from us can't shut out memories or silence courage.

 i can say without hesitation that jackie is my hero in the fight against leukemia as well as in terms of what it means to fight with a great spirit and attitude. she represents the ultimate in strength and courage in the face of great obstacles and challenges. to me it seemed like she took each hurdle in great stride and with a steadfastness that perhaps belied her own sense of urgency to just get that leg of the race behind her, but i don't believe for a second she was resigned to the direction her road seemed to be taking her. i believe that jackie tied her strong shoes tight everyday, prepared for any detour.

leukemia brought us together, and although it is what now separates us, it cannot sever the respect and admiration i have for her. jackie embodies a depth of character that i have never seen so graciously portrayed, despite her circumstances. when many would have given up, been bitter, or languished in self pity, jackie never played the martyr. 

when i say she is my hero, it's a supreme understatement because i don't think i could ever adequately convey what she has taught me about what it means to meet a road block head on and take a detour in stride...and with a smile. and, in terms of my own journey with leukemia, jackie was a great support, and her encouragement was a blessing. i remember the day i found out i needed a stem cell transplant. i went up to see jackie and she detected my fear and anxiety about the process. she wasn't feeling well herself that day but she sat up in the bed and said with a smile, "you can do this, teri-lyn. you can do this." so much of my own journey has been positively influenced by jackie's care, compassion, understanding, and strength. she has given me more reasons to journey on.

jackie has a special place in my heart and my own journey takes on a new meaning because i am sure to sense her genuine care and compassion every step of the way. i believe she will be my guardian angel, and i feel her strength. she has shown me what it means to fight with dignity and to bravely and courageously keep putting one foot in front of the other on the path of life, no matter how difficult.

tom jones said this, and i can hear jackie saying it: "let's not complain about why things don't work. let's see if we can come up with something that we can all get behind.” get behind each other in the days ahead. we can't begin to understand the forks in the road of jackie's journey, but we can get behind the person she was and all she represented.

thank you, jackie, for never giving up and for giving it all you had. you have blazed a trail of strength far beyond your days. my own journey has been made better because of you. i am honoured and privileged to know you in the capacity that i did, and while cancer has taken much, it has not taken away the person you were, the courageous battle you fought, and the exemplary way you travelled with unparalleled fortitude on your path. i put on your strong shoes on monday night as your spirit lingered and empowered. i will continue on my own journey with your strength as my inspiration and road map.

you are indeed my hero and now my guardian angel. i have big shoes to fill.

rest in peace, my dear friend and fellow fighter.