knowing-doing=sin; knowing+doing=blessing

awhile ago i was doing some vacuuming and dusting in my room. i caught myself actually cleaning around stuff, instead of moving the pictures and the books and the cds...it's not like i was in a hurry, or had somewhere to be, or something else to do...and i don't even think it was a conscious decision to do a half job...actually, if i'm being honest, doing a half job in this area is chronic for me...

on the topic of the habitual, as i was sucking up some dust off the bottom shelf of my bookcase--without moving other personal effects--and thinking how badly i hate dusting, i was reminded about doing chores when i was younger. my mom would often do up a list of stuff for my sister and me. if dusting appeared on my list, i would invariably try and swap with my sister: "i will do allllll of this for you, if you will dust for me."

you see, i hated dusting. i hated the feeling of just moving the dirt around. i hated getting dirt under my nails. i hated the dried out feeling my hands would get after rinsing my rag in warm, sudsy water multiple times. but, i loved the end result of being dust-free. i still do.

so this got me thinking about how i'm sometimes willing to do a half job in many areas of my life. i'm willing to work on this, but will leave that. i will devote time to that, but not this. i will sacrifice here, but not there. i will push the envelope there, but not here. i will go out of my way to do one thing, but not another. at the end of the day, it looks like i've got all my ducks in a row and the dirt dealt with, but if you were to just shift your gaze from what you can easily see to what i try to hide, you'd see things that i'd be embarrassed for you to see. admittedly, sometimes i make clean the outside of the cup, but inside there's an ugly ring of stain.

if you had walked in my room on that particular morning and watched me dust, or if you had moved this picture or that book, i would have been ashamed for you to see my laziness and indifference in dealing with the dust and cobwebs. the way i see it, i can't let this be an exercise in futility for me. this simple illustration has reminded me that since i hate how i feel when i dust and vacuum improperly, i must have the same disgust when i do the things i shouldn't do, and don't do the things i should do...and i'm not even talking about heinous sin here...i'm talking about the times i know i should pray and i choose to text, or the times i know i should read and i choose to watch, or the times i know i should respond and i choose to sit...those times i know i should do and i don't, or the times i know i shouldn't and i do...

unlike trading chores with my sister so i wouldn't have to dust, i know that today in my life there are things i need to do that only i can do. and you know what? maybe you'd never move the book or the cd and see how i failed to properly clean, and maybe you don't see my weaknesses like i feel you do, but the thing is, i know they're there. and knowing in the biblical sense implies doing: "it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it" (james 4:17 nlt), and doing implies blessing: "don't just listen to God's word. you must do what it says...and if you do...then God will bless you for doing" (james 1:22-25).

now, i must go dust properly ;-)