don't get bitter, get better

tonight i was thinking about getting hurt. it happens. unless you're a masochistic person, you generally don't let it happen on purpose. getting hurt is usually beyond your control. people don't typically choose to get hurt.

let me briefly qualify this idea. you might make a series of bad choices that result in getting hurt, but you probably didn't choose to get hurt. for instance, you see that your shoe is coming untied. then you see that your shoe is completely untied. then you step on the untied shoelace and trip, landing on your hands and knees which will be scraped and bruised. you got hurt, not because you chose to get hurt, but because your choices led you down that road. it was bound to happen.

or maybe your the kind of person who would die for someone else, or at least soften a blow. like, if your parent, or your significant other, or your sibling, or your friend was in harm's way, you would instinctively reach out, step in, grab for...you would react on behalf of someone else, but in so doing, jeopardize yourself. someone else was about to fall down the stairs, but you intercept and avert disaster for the other person. however, you lose your balance in the process and go tumbling down. you chose to put someone else's safety first, getting hurt in the process, but you didn't actually choose to get hurt.

so, practically speaking, hurt isn't a choice. we don't choose to get hurt. but it happens. physical hurt is my rather obvious metaphor for hurt that isn't physical, but is often just as deep, if not more so.

really, i can't control when i get hurt. i can't control who hurts me. i can't control how or why i get hurt. i might be able to take steps to limit or minimize hurt, but hurt happens. and sometimes from the people we'd never imagine, at the times we'd never expect, and in the ways we'd never fathom.

the way i see it, what we can control is the healing. we can chose to let healing come. and we can even take steps to expedite, rather than aggravate and interrupt the process. think about it. you didn't choose to sprain your ankle, but you did chose to immobilize it, rest it, ice it, wrap it, elevate it, etc. you didn't choose to get hurt, but you did chose to let healing come.

i don't need to spell it out here, so i won't. just let me say that healing is a choice. it's a choice that the one who got hurt makes. if you don't, it will destroy you like cancer that goes untreated, or gangrene that eats away at you.

choose to let it go. choose to forgive. choose to turn the other cheek. choose to be bigger. choose to not get bitter. choose to get better.

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ps: wanna see a footnote that was recently written about this post? go to http://suzie-k.blogspot.com/2011/01/footnote-to-httpmy-point-o.html