meant to be?

when you hear the expression "meant to be," what does it make you think of?


the eventful merger of 2 mediocre businesses into a dominant corporation that fortune 500 declares at the end of the first quarter "it was meant to be?"


some unique flavours that you've experimented with and decide to unveil for a dinner party, that garnishes you so many compliments that you know the menu combinations were "meant to be?"


the relationship where the pieces just seem to fall into place, where every onlooker endorses the union to be "meant to be?"


i'm no expert on any of the above. i don't follow rankings or annual business reports. my domestic skills are more in the cleaning department than the food preparation or entertaining fields. and my marital status would seem to indicate i don't have a great deal of experience in dating or securing 'the one.'


the thing is, no matter what it is, this phrase typically makes sense to the event, or experiment, or endorsement to which it's ascribed, though perhaps depending on who's doing the assigning. it's easy for someone on the outside to say something's "meant to be" when the something has time and space on its side, meaning there's a bit of history and distance and its feasibility is evident. it's also easy to say when you're the one saying it about your own event, experiment, or endorsement. of course you're going to say it was "meant to be."


basically, we say something's "meant to be" when it works. it might even defy reason and be precedent setting. it might even defy explanation. it might not even make any sense to someone on the ouside. but when you see the workability of the something that's "meant to be," you just know that it is.


if you've read any of my blogs, you'll know that the topic of being is something i address a lot. this "meant to be" expression has been knocking for days, demanding an audience. i gave it some attention today. as illustrated, while i'm no expert, i'm a firm believer that some things and some people are "meant to be." and when you know, you know. and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. i might have a hard time convincing you, and vice versa, but this doesn't diminish the "meant-to-be-ness" of something. and eventually, time and space will validate or invalidate anyway. the merger will destruct or dominate. the ingredients will combust or combine. the relationship will end or endure.

"meant to be?" well, it is a process--but it's a process whose workability and feasibility should be demonstrated eventually and regularly. i don't think it ever happens overnight, but having said that if it's "meant to be," it shouldn't be all about making it work--some days, sure. but the ebbs and flows of relationships--corporate, foods, people--should eventually yield the feeling that there is no question about whether it's meant to be. making it work? to me that implies that you're forcing it. and i feel flowing is more important that forcing. and let me just qualify my statements by saying that i doubt any relationship is always easy, so when i say it shouldn't be alllll about making it work, what i mean to acknowledge is that i know relationships take work to get them right. they are a process. but eventually and regularly you get the feeling that the unadulterated meant-to-be-ness outweighs the aggravating sense of just making it work.


about being, hamlet famously asked "to be, or not to be: that is the question." when it comes to living and being, existing and experiencing, i was meant to be. you were meant to be. i can't pair companies, or ingredients, or people, but i can say that if you are breathing you should be being. and you're a process. i know some days it's purely about surviving and keeping it together, but really, this life is about thriving and giving someone else a reason to thrive. throw yourself into living and your purpose will reveal itself. your fulfillment will come.

the way i see it, for the purposes of this entry, hamlet's question is rhetorical. you are meant to live. you are meant to be. maybe those companies, or those flavours, or those people aren't...but you are. period.