getting connected

i went to the home going celebration for my boss's mom last week. something the officiating minister said stuck with me: "accumulations and accomplishments aren't what matter; relationships matter."


because of the way my brain works, i modified his thought: it's not about accumulations and accomplishments; it's about attachments.


stuff is nice. so's being successful. those things aren't wrong. we ought to work hard to have and achieve. but when we breathe our last breath, hopefully we'll be known for who we were in our connections with faith, family, and friends, and not for all stuff we acquired and the rungs we climbed.


as for accumulations, and having stuff, i find it interesting that a synonym is trappings. how apropos. especially in this day and age where some people have more credit cards than common sense, and their goods and their monthly statements increase simultaneously. i think our stuff has the unique ability to trap us. one of my favourite books is about a man named henry david thoreau. it's a real life account of how one man fled the busyness of mid-1800 new england society to go to walden pond. here, he was determined to overcome the desperate and materialistic obstacles of obtaining more, by becoming content with less. he had observed that people were living lives of resentment and seemingly bitter longing for the things they had not yet obtained. people were no longer asking what they needed to live, but were living hurried and wasted lives (174), all in the attempt to "get into business" and "out of debt" (110). thoreau concluded that people had become so caught up in the rat race of 'getting' that they were now doing penance for these things (108), becoming owned by the very things they were trying to own. things 'gotten' had gotten the 'getter,' leading thoreau to believe that in the end "the more you have...the poorer you are" (154).


thoreau talks at length about how people were spending the best part of their lives earning and obtaining "in order to enjoy a questionable liberty during the least part" of their lives (145). he had a keen interest in the way his neighbours were spending their lives (355), in exchange for a kind of slavery to things, understanding that the pursuit for things helped to keep civilization "poor as long as they live" (127). think about all the stuff you have. was every purchase wise? now think about your debt. can you afford to not work? probably not. our stuff owns us.


as for accomplishments, and being successful, too many people put too much stock in climbing corporate and company rungs. advancing is good, but many times these promotions are at the expense of people...the people who should matter more than the new placement or position. sometimes i think i accomplish a great deal, but get nothing done. what i mean by that is i have this checklist, and i'm really diligent at making sure i'm accomplished and successful at the end of the day, but i've done nothing to secure my position with my posse. all i'm saying is don't forget your people.


which brings me to attachments. and not to things or ambitions. i can accumulate and accomplish my life away and be so full, yet be so empty. my warehouses might be filled to the brim and i have no one to share it with because i've alienated myself from the things that really count...faith, family, friends. that's where my investments need to be. those investments are wise. my attachments should get the best of my time, talent, and treasure. 


now, you'll notice that i spent the most time talking about accumulations. that's because i think that's what gets us most distracted...especially my generation...and it affects our drive to be accomplished and, in turn, our attachment (or should i say lack of attachment) to people. it's seldom that what we acquire or how far we advance ever suffers. we garner and we make great gains at the expense of, well, what actually matters in this life.


here's what the bible has to say about all of this, found in luke 12: "life doesn't consist in the abundance of things that we possess...the ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: and he thought to himself, 'what will i do, because i don't have room for all my crops?' and he said, 'here's what i'll do: i will tear down my barns and build bigger ones. then i'll have room for all my stuff. and i will say to my soul, "soul, you have lots of stuff stored for many years; now take it easy."' but God said to him, 'you fool! you will die this very night; then who will get everything you worked for?' yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God."


notice that the rich man 'thinks to himself' and he 'says to his soul.' not to a friend. not to a family member. maybe, just maybe, he had been so absorbed in the abundance of things that he shut people out. maybe. and even if we give him the benefit of doubt that he had people, it's telling that the man opts to build bigger barns than share with the people in his life. but then God asks him what he's going to do with all his stuff since his death is pending. if the rich man had people in his life, maybe God wouldn't be asking the question. maybe. and of course, made plain is the fact that the most important thing in life should be the attachment to God and faith. but i think there's enough implied in this passage to also suggest the importance of people, not possessing things. just a thought.


the passage--and the crux of this entry--is later explained with this verse: where your treasure is, there will your heart be.


the way i see it, i need to make sure that i'm not so absorbed with self-aggrandizement that my getting and my ground gaining has a choke hold on me. i don't want to be known by the things i did or didn't have, or the positions i did or didn't hold; i want to be known by my connections to faith, family, friends. i want to be connected to what counts in this life so that my investments are wise and get me a good return in life and in the life to come :-)


and one final point to ponder...


"wisdom [is] the principal thing; [therefore] get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding" (proverbs 4:7).

works cited

thoreau, henry david. walden and other writings. new york: bantam books, 1854.